Bepsanpop Mobbutcan is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, thoughtless fox.

Bepsanpop Mobbutcan created matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bepsanpop Mobbutcan, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bepsanpop Mobbutcan, she will turn you into a rat.

Bepsanpop Mobbutcan's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Bepsanpop Mobbutcan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never wear mauve stockings.

3. Do not speak about nuts.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.