Venflanhim is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, fast meerkat.

Venflanhim created oxygen six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Venflanhim, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Venflanhim, she will turn you into a hamster.

Venflanhim's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Venflanhim's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

5. Always take life seriously.