Hap is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, emotional raccoon.

Hap created Mount Everest nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hap, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hap, she will ignore you.

Hap's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Hap's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention turtles.

2. Never talk about voles.

3. Always treat gulls with great respect.

4. Ants are not to be trusted.

5. Put Hap first in all things.