Gemgedyog is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, happy grasshopper.

Gemgedyog created viruses three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemgedyog, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gemgedyog, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gemgedyog's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Gemgedyog's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed garlic to great tits while wearing indigo shoes.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not take Gemgedyog's name in vain.