Gabtoftaf is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, awe-inspiring camel.

Gabtoftaf created Europe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gabtoftaf, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gabtoftaf, it will try to impress you with trees.

Gabtoftaf's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Gabtoftaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. Worship no other gods but Gabtoftaf.

5. You must never eat strawberries.