Govtaffab Rullpig Sadfudsis is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, fussy narwhal.

Govtaffab Rullpig Sadfudsis created everything that exists five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Govtaffab Rullpig Sadfudsis, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Govtaffab Rullpig Sadfudsis, it will destroy your home planet.

Govtaffab Rullpig Sadfudsis' most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Govtaffab Rullpig Sadfudsis' Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands white.

2. Do not eat carrots.

3. Do not dye your hair magenta.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not speak about peas.