Bedlarndin is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, intelligent jackal.

Bedlarndin created a charm quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bedlarndin, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bedlarndin, she will destroy your home planet.

Bedlarndin's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Bedlarndin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill turtles.

2. You must love Bedlarndin.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bedlarndin.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.