Disstonkyog is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, overgenerous wyvern.

Disstonkyog created light four billion years ago.

If you believe in Disstonkyog, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Disstonkyog, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Disstonkyog's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Disstonkyog's Holy Commandments

1. Always help grasshopers in need.

2. Disstonkyog must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never go into magenta rooms.

5. Disstonkyog loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.