Zagdongem is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, all-powerful grasshopper.

Zagdongem created the Whirlpool Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagdongem, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zagdongem, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Zagdongem's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Zagdongem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not speak about tomatoes.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never write about galaxies.

5. Do not dye your hair violet.