Tarplikweehen is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, pitiless donkey.

Tarplikweehen created humanity six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarplikweehen, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tarplikweehen, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Tarplikweehen's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Tarplikweehen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear tin on your body.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always help sick capybaras.