Larnwegbop is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, merciful horse.

Larnwegbop created time and space three million years ago.

If you believe in Larnwegbop, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Larnwegbop, she will turn you into a mole.

Larnwegbop's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Larnwegbop's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.

2. Erect three silver sculptures of Larnwegbop on top of important buildings.

3. Put Larnwegbop first in all things.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always help voles in need.