Tofpangjab Nakhaksiglatfot is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, compassionate giraffe.

Tofpangjab Nakhaksiglatfot created water two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofpangjab Nakhaksiglatfot, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tofpangjab Nakhaksiglatfot, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Tofpangjab Nakhaksiglatfot's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Tofpangjab Nakhaksiglatfot's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tofpangjab Nakhaksiglatfot seven times a day.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. You must never eat aubergines.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always help sick mites.