Dansomfag is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, narcissistic fox.

Dansomfag created vertebrates nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dansomfag, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dansomfag, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Dansomfag's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Dansomfag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never feed grapes to dolphins while wearing green kilts.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not commit murder.