Bidlinflabstaf is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, awe-inspiring hydra.

Bidlinflabstaf created humankind six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bidlinflabstaf, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Bidlinflabstaf, it will send you a sign.

Bidlinflabstaf's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Bidlinflabstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always make sure there are no foxes in a room before entering it.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always help badgers.