Tamwap is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, fast bird.

Tamwap created matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tamwap, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tamwap, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Tamwap's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Tamwap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear platinum on your body.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never run in the presence of sheep.

4. Never talk about seals.

5. Always help pigs.