Wonwikcub is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, thoughtless goat.

Wonwikcub created the Andromeda Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Wonwikcub, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wonwikcub, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Wonwikcub's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Wonwikcub's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Wonwikcub.

2. Always look after injured great tits.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Worship no other gods but Wonwikcub.

5. Do not shave your neck.