Zogfarbass Sasvonlik is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, selfish squirrel.

Zogfarbass Sasvonlik created silver nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zogfarbass Sasvonlik, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Zogfarbass Sasvonlik, she will try to impress you with trees.

Zogfarbass Sasvonlik's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Zogfarbass Sasvonlik's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not take Zogfarbass Sasvonlik's name in vain.

3. Never think ill of sick sharks.

4. Never wear trousers.

5. Always obey Zogfarbass Sasvonlik's priests.