Lanbonkcuss is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, almighty pig.

Lanbonkcuss created viruses three billion years ago.

If you believe in Lanbonkcuss, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Lanbonkcuss, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Lanbonkcuss' most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Lanbonkcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Lanbonkcuss on top of all buildings.

4. Never bounce in holy places.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lanbonkcuss.