Yarptabfon Sisflatsaf is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, annoying warg.

Yarptabfon Sisflatsaf created the planet Earth eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarptabfon Sisflatsaf, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yarptabfon Sisflatsaf, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Yarptabfon Sisflatsaf's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Yarptabfon Sisflatsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Do not covet oxen.