Quartyamxem is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, almighty cow.

Quartyamxem created the Virgo Supercluster eight million years ago.

If you believe in Quartyamxem, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Quartyamxem, he will not care at all.

Quartyamxem's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Quartyamxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not skip in public.

2. Always help sick goats.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.