Quartwigbarnzig Gabbep is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, blissful wasp.

Quartwigbarnzig Gabbep created a strange quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quartwigbarnzig Gabbep, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Quartwigbarnzig Gabbep, he will not care.

Quartwigbarnzig Gabbep's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Quartwigbarnzig Gabbep's Holy Commandments

1. Always help seals.

2. Always make sure there are no cats in a room before entering it.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate nematodes.

5. Erect a large gold sculpture of Quartwigbarnzig Gabbep on top of all buildings.