Yartflynurt Femjarngadcudtikflap is a god.

He takes the form of a large, competent octopus.

Yartflynurt Femjarngadcudtikflap created viruses four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartflynurt Femjarngadcudtikflap, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yartflynurt Femjarngadcudtikflap, he will turn you into a puffin.

Yartflynurt Femjarngadcudtikflap's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Yartflynurt Femjarngadcudtikflap's Holy Commandments

1. Always help dolphins in need.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never eat cucumbers.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not kill ants.