Metlamjinhonlidfobflam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, self-assured pigeon.

Metlamjinhonlidfobflam created light four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Metlamjinhonlidfobflam, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Metlamjinhonlidfobflam, she will turn you into a tree.

Metlamjinhonlidfobflam's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Metlamjinhonlidfobflam's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about comets.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.