Parkcissbum is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, bad-tempered ferret.

Parkcissbum created an electron six million years ago.

If you believe in Parkcissbum, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Parkcissbum, it will turn you into a worm.

Parkcissbum's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Parkcissbum's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick grasshopers.

2. Never mention aardvarks.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Erect nine aluminium sculptures of Parkcissbum on top of important buildings.

5. Never go into fawn rooms.