Mabgumgig is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, wise monkey.

Mabgumgig created the Sun nine million years ago.

If you believe in Mabgumgig, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Mabgumgig, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Mabgumgig's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Mabgumgig's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never mention whales.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never bounce in holy places.

5. Do not dye your hair orange.