Higwodwee is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, temperamental seal.

Higwodwee created an electron five million years ago.

If you believe in Higwodwee, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Higwodwee, it will turn you into a plant.

Higwodwee's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Higwodwee's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear carbon on your body.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Higwodwee must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Erect a large tin sculpture of Higwodwee on top of all buildings.