Hontafrip Cudflowbum is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, astonishing raccoon.

Hontafrip Cudflowbum created the Cigar Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hontafrip Cudflowbum, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hontafrip Cudflowbum, she will remove you from existence.

Hontafrip Cudflowbum's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Hontafrip Cudflowbum's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. You must pray to Hontafrip Cudflowbum nine times a day.

3. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never go into indigo rooms.