Padfomcid is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, happy clam.

Padfomcid created Europe eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Padfomcid, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Padfomcid, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Padfomcid's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Padfomcid's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Run away from blue seals, for they are unholy.

3. Never think about asteroids.

4. Do not hurt capybaras.

5. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.