Dumpomnab is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, grumpy toad.

Dumpomnab created the planet Earth twelve years ago.

If you believe in Dumpomnab, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Dumpomnab, it will turn you into a rat.

Dumpomnab's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Dumpomnab's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into black rooms.

2. Do not dye your hair red.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.