Wapafgep is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, merciless jackal.

Wapafgep created the planet Venus seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wapafgep, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wapafgep, he will turn you into a frog.

Wapafgep's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Wapafgep's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into fawn rooms.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always wear red.

5. Never think about gravity.