Timgamkonlag is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, sage finch.

Timgamkonlag created everything that exists eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Timgamkonlag, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Timgamkonlag, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Timgamkonlag's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Timgamkonlag's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat bats with great respect.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Run away from indigo frogs, for they are unholy.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.