Hotlunbop is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, cheerful swallow.

Hotlunbop created the cosmos two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hotlunbop, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hotlunbop, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Hotlunbop's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Hotlunbop's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick manatees.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not hurt eagles.

4. Never go into mauve rooms.

5. Hotlunbop must be the most important thing in your life.