Omingupdad is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, quiet newt.

Omingupdad created the planet Saturn six billion years ago.

If you believe in Omingupdad, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Omingupdad, it will send you a sign.

Omingupdad's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Omingupdad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick great tits.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Omingupdad.

3. Never paint your legs pink.

4. Never feed oranges to doves while wearing black kilts.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.