Stigvonksak is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, unselfish pig.

Stigvonksak created the planet Earth seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stigvonksak, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Stigvonksak, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Stigvonksak's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Stigvonksak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

2. Do not shave your face.

3. Do not eat corn.

4. Never think about asteroids.

5. Do not run in public.