Figfosslopnellmutwapmonmon is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, dishonourable hippopotamus.

Figfosslopnellmutwapmonmon created light four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Figfosslopnellmutwapmonmon, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Figfosslopnellmutwapmonmon, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Figfosslopnellmutwapmonmon's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Figfosslopnellmutwapmonmon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never hurt rats.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.

5. Do not speak about peas.