Satcephog is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, happy shrew.

Satcephog created a top quark two years ago.

If you believe in Satcephog, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Satcephog, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Satcephog's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Satcephog's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back orange.

2. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not drink water in green rooms.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Satcephog.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.