Cedbapyok is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, merciless guinea pig.

Cedbapyok created a quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cedbapyok, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cedbapyok, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Cedbapyok's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Cedbapyok's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always help sick porpoises.