Jarnarfyatt is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, fast jackal.

Jarnarfyatt created the planet Earth nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnarfyatt, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Jarnarfyatt, it will turn you into a rat.

Jarnarfyatt's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Jarnarfyatt's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat cucumbers.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always help birds.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Hide if three nematodes approach from the east.