Badfem Flabarmgep is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, overgenerous raccoon.

Badfem Flabarmgep created the Tadpole Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Badfem Flabarmgep, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Badfem Flabarmgep, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Badfem Flabarmgep's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Badfem Flabarmgep's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. Always help sick ducks.

5. Retreat if four bats approach from the south.