Hunzenfed is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, grumpy wombat.

Hunzenfed created a strange quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hunzenfed, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hunzenfed, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Hunzenfed's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Hunzenfed's Holy Commandments

1. Always help gulls.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never talk about voles.

4. Always look after injured mice.

5. Never go into red rooms.