Lapomtbaf is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, idiotic shrew.

Lapomtbaf created energy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lapomtbaf, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Lapomtbaf, she will jump up and down on your head.

Lapomtbaf's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Lapomtbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always help eagles in need.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Hide if three frogs approach from the west.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always help ants.