Tingigkom Quamyogabtip is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, two-faced manatee.

Tingigkom Quamyogabtip created the planet Earth eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tingigkom Quamyogabtip, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tingigkom Quamyogabtip, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Tingigkom Quamyogabtip's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Tingigkom Quamyogabtip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill whales.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Do not jump in public.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Tingigkom Quamyogabtip must be the most important thing in your life.