Cimlaptin Bamcepnig is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, egotistical fox.

Cimlaptin Bamcepnig created a bottom quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimlaptin Bamcepnig, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Cimlaptin Bamcepnig, it will not invite you to parties.

Cimlaptin Bamcepnig's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Cimlaptin Bamcepnig's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed beans to eagles while wearing purple corsets.

2. You must love Cimlaptin Bamcepnig.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.