Loparflib Zaglarprut is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, unthoughtful snail.

Loparflib Zaglarprut created water nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Loparflib Zaglarprut, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Loparflib Zaglarprut, he will be very sad.

Loparflib Zaglarprut's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Loparflib Zaglarprut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

2. Never talk about ducks.

3. Never look at nebulae.

4. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

5. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.