Sakjabhenfodguthud is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, stupid centipede.

Sakjabhenfodguthud created dark energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sakjabhenfodguthud, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sakjabhenfodguthud, he will be mildly annoyed.

Sakjabhenfodguthud's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Sakjabhenfodguthud's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from turquoise sharks for they are unholy.

2. Never jump near frogs.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always treat goats with great respect.

5. Sakjabhenfodguthud loves mice, so they must be respected.