Nartbamyok Didquafrig is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, all-powerful frog.

Nartbamyok Didquafrig created life four billion years ago.

If you believe in Nartbamyok Didquafrig, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nartbamyok Didquafrig, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Nartbamyok Didquafrig's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Nartbamyok Didquafrig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing in public.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.