Somzimhit is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, uncaring bear.

Somzimhit created life six billion years ago.

If you believe in Somzimhit, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Somzimhit, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Somzimhit's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Somzimhit's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed spinach to pigs while wearing mauve kilts.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not dye your hair orange.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.