Tabfetbaf is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, egotistical jackal.

Tabfetbaf created the cosmos eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tabfetbaf, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tabfetbaf, it will turn you into a slug.

Tabfetbaf's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Tabfetbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured ducks.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never look in ponds.