Fengarquat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, fussy snail.

Fengarquat created parasitic wasps five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fengarquat, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fengarquat, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Fengarquat's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Fengarquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not hurt dogs.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fengarquat.

4. Never talk about stars.

5. Respect your elders.