Ortgemget is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, humorless yak.

Ortgemget created viruses two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortgemget, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ortgemget, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Ortgemget's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Ortgemget's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Put Ortgemget first in all things.